Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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