Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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