i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sobbing to NWA
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
