how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is Oprah even human
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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