Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize