let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
