So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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