No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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