i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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