There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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