You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
