Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
