Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pants are for mortals
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
