my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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