whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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