after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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