Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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