Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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