i jhust puked up my retainher.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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