He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
