come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My ass is underappreciated
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
