Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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