bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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