You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
