All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
