Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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