I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize