I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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