I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
