Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
