its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
