don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
