she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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