You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I supernannyed him into submission
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
