It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
