When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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