Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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