with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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