are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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