Porn is love you can see.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
