I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
