Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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