you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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