Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
