Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
