Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
barbara walters just said penis...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
