he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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