i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
