I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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