Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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