Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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