I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
