I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
