I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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