Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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