Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
