dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize