At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
MIDGETS
????
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
