its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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