I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
