she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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