Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
