I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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