do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
