it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
